Costco, home of 2 pound hunks of mozzarella, 10 man tents and $200 cabernets, sells caskets. If this is not news to you, I’m sorry (in more ways than one).
Let me start by saying, I love going to Costco.
I don’t mind the crowds. At checkout, they get you through the lines amazingly fast, and I like looking at people’s carts while I’m waiting to pay. It’s a great way to see all the wonderful things that are potentially in my future (an 8-pack of John Wayne Certified Organic Black Pepper Flavor Beef Jerky! Who know John Wayne was into organic!?).
I just love all the stuff. I don’t know why four boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios is better than one, but it just is. Maybe it’s American’s unofficial motto (“Gimme More!”) that drives people to fill their Costco carts.
For me, it offers the perverse challenge of getting through the Unofficial Home of Excess without going off my list. I love leaving with just the couple of things we need. I think it pisses some people off, indignant that I could go to Overshop Heaven and leave with just blueberries, batteries and water.
For my latest excursion to Costco I showed up right when they opened on a Saturday morning and took advantage of the empty store to walk down every aisle. I saw all the things I usually miss when I’m flying from the beer to the water to the pharmacy (with a stop at salmon).
At the end of the row with shredders and filing cabinets, I found the above aforementioned casket area. Glory Be! You can buy the last box you’ll ever be in, at the biggest box you’ve ever been in.
It’s genius. They sell tires, and gas, and vacations, and blinds…so why not make what will arguably be your last purchase at the same place where you buy all the things that help you enjoy life? It makes perfect sense. It’s a great idea. A bit macabre, perhaps, but if the Caramel Apple Pie rocks at Costco (which it does), why wouldn’t the caskets?
The only thing I wonder—and I didn’t stay long enough to find out—how many do you have to buy?
*posthumous thanks to Sid Rosset for this oldie but goodie.
Additional benefits: packing your purchases in the casket helps the environment, casket can serve as an airtight storage container for your valuables, an interesting coffee table/sidebar, elevate your home's Halloween status to neighborhood children,sleeping compartment for out-of-town guests...
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